A foam football soaks in the deep end of a leafy pool as my nephews and I precariously reach for it the fifth time. Various sports fill every corner of a 100" screen and the pie table nearby sees early action before dinner is served. Kids young and old congregate before a Toy Story marathon to hear the rules for a new board game. Newlyweds share stories with family eager to support them as they breach new territory in need of wisdom. Grandpa makes the announcement and everyone shuffles out to the lawn for a photo before dusk. Perched again on the pool's edge I wonder how many of these I'll take alone. I see my siblings and cousins pair up year after year through this lens. With the frame always expanding to accommodate I shout directions so the tiny faces in the back don't block themselves behind big hair and cousins who've grown too tall for the front row.
On the drive to Simi Valley my mind wanders back to previous photographs. We've seen some come and go, insets made for those who couldn't be there. Small ones fill in the gaps between us and Facebook wonders who to tag. I've seen longtime standers graduate to a chair and little new-comers stand on their own for the first time. My family is changing rapidly and it's harder and harder to find myself kneeling in the front row solo, but that's where I am. When I first moved to Burbank after graduation I couldn't relate to new friends who said LA was a lonely city or the friendsgiving families who couldn't drive an hour home as I could. With time I've grown to understand and the stretch from Halloween to New Years now seems to last longer than the rest of the year.
Years transform families and as they fray and refresh we begin to see what makes our own unique. Love seems to work well if growth is the goal and judgement also very effective when looking to divide. How family is defined for me also changes every year. When I was young I thought it meant one thing and as an adult that became less important to me. My own life and career took precedent pushing family into holiday boxes where I could check in once in a while. The definition is changing again and I don't know what it means right now, but I can't wait to take next year's picture.
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