Cheating by Nurture

     Ignoring the signs cannot access the bliss we're promised. His eyes wander more than normal during the reception. She lets the argument go too easy. He can't remember who watched the game with him and she has a new interest in hockey. Sadly the start of many relationships come on the heels of another. As if our significant other is cutting pay checks and we're sneaking around taking job interviews to line something up before dropping two weeks notice. Is it a flawed person that can't stand a moment alone or have we been so conditioned to be in relationships that we'd disrespect the person we once drunkenly called bae?

     In grand scandals and their Hollywood dramatizations the trail is lined by money, but individuals value time. The real distinction is between time spent alone and time with others. The image of an old man alone on a park bench, feeding birds or simply observing the world around him typically reads as loneliness and sadness. A party of friends celebrating at a restaurant or around a grill spells togetherness and happiness. Unfortunately these are commercial ideas, and have literally zero bearing on reality. In every crowd of birthday partyers is at least one divorcee deciding between rent or alimony, hoping the next ex will show up in time to watch his dog by the end of the month business trip. Every park bench tells a story of old men and women overjoyed to be surrounded by nature in the middle of a city grown around them and the active generations who will take over when it's too much for old bones to handle.

     You can be alone in a crowd and feel togetherness in isolation, it's not healthy to align with marketable ideals. I saw a Ross commercial today and every thin woman was accompanied by a man, while every plus size woman walked side by side with another woman, also apparently ill fitted for male accompaniment. This was no pro-lesbian agenda, but instead a subversive nod to fantizised body image as a primary selling point. These messages may sell, further demonstrating that corporate bottom line, but are you spending time with someone because they cast well with your type or connect with you fleetingly during a 30 second break?