Text Don't Call

     Holding our breath hoping a twelfth reset might be unecessary, action was called and the hundreds of pieces were set in motion. Camera and talent were blocked in a dance so specific at times it was a game of inches. A perfectly timed pan and cross obscured that reflection finally discovered in take eight, tongue-twisters simplified to save us from flubbed lines five minutes into the scene and boom pole operation so surgical in skill to avoid shadows even Ben Carson would be envious, not to mention his patients. It wasn't until the last minute, after the beer spill and squib hit as the sun left for its giant trailer in the sky, that Bon Jovi joined the soundtrack uninvited and the PA attached scrambled to silence Jon before his first day became his last. If you work on set, at least once you've been that guy, and in the moment no phone call could be worth the shame that follows.

     For this reason I committed to silence my phone 24 hours a day, 365 days per year. As much as I'd love to hear the X-Files theme every time a stranger calls, instead I generally miss phone calls making text my preferred method of communication. She preferred to call. We enjoyed many passive aggressive conversations on the topic but ultimately after three missed calls during a shower with no message left to reply to, I decided it wasn't working. I know many people who swear by communicating through the tiny microwave next to their brain, afterall how could you expect sarcasm to translate through text? Though generally I see text as the more considerate option, refusing to demand immediate attention in favor of connecting with someone on their terms. 

     I've undoubtedly spent hours at a time trying to communicate simple ideas via text that were settled in seconds once someone decided to pick up the phone and call. That's a genuine argument to include minutes in your plan but those rolling over will never find a purpose. Even if you found yourself buried in a box like Ryan Reynolds, your battery would die before coming close to using those rollover minutes. Just picture that every text, from the delicately formatted 6 Plus screen busting paragraphs down to a simple winking emoji have all been drafted with care. Meanwhile the majority of phone calls I receive from close friends are butt dials. It really doesn't matter how great that butt might be, I'd rather talk to a person, even if it's vowel-less text sent from the can and smattered with yellow faced winkers.