Speaking softly created a false sense of intimacy as did visiting her home after one date. We shared mostly our desires to learn guitar and shortlist a couple go-to cocktails. Accustomed to hosting as I was, it felt comfortable and rewarding to be offered what little food she had, Mac and cheese leftovers with hotdog slices in every bite. Scanning the bathroom for a hand towel, I caught batman's fraying bristles and Donald Duck bunched on the rack behind me. Simple thoughts of my own childhood creeped out from the toys and tear-free shampoos reminding me how far I'd come and how close her son was down the hall.
Her attention to me was endearing, though I knew at best it could only ever be divided. Some friends struggle to adjust when a new member robs the focus their companion had given from the start. Here it was a known quantity and the shock was immediate. I wish I could say we had the same chance any other relationship does, only here I'd consider more than a new girlfriend. From day one, family was the topic and commitment the question.
Then there are some whose children have grown. A vacant nest suggests freedom to the ambivalent, but impressions left can weigh heavier than a bird in hand. His daughter was grown and independent but her DUI incurred financial pressures and the occasional sabbaticals in jail weigh on a father in ways unseen. At the end of it all a child is too often the last to be considered and the first to be affected.
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